Thursday, September 03, 2009

Clean-up = Clean-out

We've had a bit of a clean-up problem brewing for awhile. Luke can do an exceptional job cleaning up his room...when he wants to. I've noticed however, that lately he has been doing less, and I have been doing more. He's learned that the slower he goes, the less he has to do. It's been a subtle thing that has just recently made itself evident. He's a sneaky little fellow! =) So, upon learning his little trick, I began to push him a bit harder to do more of the cleaning...he wasn't a fan of mommy's new plan.

The whole issue has now escalated to a whole new playing field. Ugh! I have finally had to lay down the law...and lay it down hard. I give him an allotted time to clean his room, set the timer, help him get started by picking up some things - then giving him the responsibility of cleaning up the rest. After the timer goes off, anything left on the floor or that hasn't been put away goes into a box and into my room where he is not allowed to play with it anymore.

The "lost" toys don't have to stay in my room forever though. If he cleans his room before the timer dings, I bring in a box of the "lost" toys and allow him to put away whatever he can before the timer goes off.

It seemed like a really good plan in my head.

I thought this would really put the fire under his feet...especially when he lost toys he really enjoys playing with. I thought it might take a few days, but once he saw his toys dwindling, he'd get the idea.

It's been 5 days now.

He has lost 75% of his toys.

My room is now overcrowded with boxes of "lost" toys.

He drags his feet more and more each day it seems! He'll cry when he sees one of his favorite toys go in the box, but by the time the next night rolls around, even the thought of earning it back doesn't seem to motivate him to clean his room.

I guess the thing that frustrates me the most (and I know this will be an ongoing battle because this is a part of his personality) is that he knows exactly what he needs to do. But knowing and doing are two different things. He's smart. He is really really smart. He knows exactly what I'm asking of him and what I expect of him. He knows what the rules are. He knows what he's supposed to do. He just doesn't want to do it. Ugh.

I plan to follow through with my plan even if it means taking every single toy in the end. I feel like he's old enough to clean up his toys. And it's by no means a new concept for him either -he's been picking up his toys since he was a wee little one! I don't know why he's chosen now to resist it so much. But I've told him that if he wants toys to play with, he is old enough to show some responsibility for them. Part of that responsibility is putting them away when he gets them out.

So, welcome to the world of a 3 year old I guess! Oh the joys of the battles!=)

8 comments:

Monica said...

I can so relate!! Your plan was sounding good to me too....sorry it isn't working out for you. Maybe you just need to stick with it longer, even if it takes him losing all of his toys.

I think of you so often and miss you!

Unknown said...

Y'know... he's SO smart that maybe he's waiting for all the toys to be gone so that he's guaranteed to have his room clean before the timer goes off and will get some of them back? ;-) (Just a thought from a devious mind...)

Kudos to you for sticking to it, though. If you gave in now it would only send the wrong message, and he needs to learn the right one. And he will, I'm sure of it.

Luv & Miss ya lots!!!

Annie said...

LOL what a great post!

I guess that 3 year olds start to get more stubborn and smarter with how they disobey. Oh what I have to look forward to.

I love your plan. It sounds good in my head too....I hope it works for you :)

btw check out my new blog at www.mama-dweeb.blogspot.com

thanks!

Ryan said...

My mom lasted until I was about 14, then we reached an agreement. She stopped bugging me to clean my room and I kept the door shut so she didn't have to see it.

Barb said...

I think it's a great idea! Stick to your plan because I bet he's waiting you out to see how long it will take you to give in. What's the technical child development term for that? Oh yeah, making you crazy or was it testing boundaries.

I'm sure you'll see results soon. I wonder what would happen if the boxes of toys started to go out to the barn...

Anonymous said...

Keep it up, Min! We went through a brief time of Jamie dragging his feet, too. (Only his reason was that he wanted to stay up longer.) It took a bit of work but he eventually gave in. Now, he even picks up Danny's toys most nights. You can do it, Mama!

--Jenny

Cherry said...

STICK TO YOUR GUNS LADY!!! I say if he doesn't give in by the end of a month you take a box of toys to the consignment store once a week. Make sure to take him with you and that he knows that these toys will NOT be coming back. And don't listen to Ryan!

Anonymous said...

Mindy while I understand the concept you are trying to teach Luke I feel he is to young to get it, he doesn't have the brain development to understand the concept you are teaching. All he knows is that he is loosing his toys. I think to teach our children to do it, whatever it is we have to make it positive, put yourself in the room sing songs about cleaning up and feed him with positive affirmations. Do it till he is almost five and then start to back off slowly. Give him the responsibility then. Children don't have "concert operation" until around 8 and boys are much slower at that than girls. Nothing personal just my perspective.