My Grandpa

My Grandpa walked onto heaven's shore on June 17th, 2012. Words seem to fail me when I try to speak about how much Grandpa means to me. Maybe because words don't even come close to captivating Grandpa's character and life.

He was such a strong yet gentle man. Kindness and compassion flowed from his eyes - with a twinkle that spoke to his great sense of humor. He was a man with an unwavering faith in God, an eternal love for our Grandma and a steadfast love and devotion for his family.

     

I will never forget seeing him at the table with a pile of Shaklee vitamins, a scrumptious morning breakfast with hot coffee- and before partaking in any of this he would say a morning prayer that covered all of his children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren by name.

I will never forget sitting in his lap as a little girl as he helped me learn the motions to "Patty Cake", and then as a teenager how he looked me in the eyes and told me he believed in me and how he always encouraged me to stay strong in the Lord at all times. Through baptisms, weddings, and baby dedications he was always there with his quiet smile, gentle laughter, and words of wisdom.

So, thank you for being our Grandpa. You have left us a rich heritage and a lasting legacy. You lived your faith. And we couldn't ask for a better Christ-like example.

Though you are gone from this earth and we miss you so much - we know we will once again see you on heaven's side. Good night, Grandpa - we'll see you in the Morning.        

Letting Go?

When I was a girl, my Grandma Winegarden made me a doll house. It was one of those wooden kit kinds – but she went far and above just gluing some wooden pieces together- she made pretty yarn carpets and painted the house a cute white and blue. It was a Christmas gift and I LOVED it! 

 I still have this doll house…at first I thought maybe I’d have a girl one day to pass it down to…but it’s quite apparent that we just make boys. =) Through our many moves, the doll house has started to fall apart…and at this point it’s pretty much in pieces. And yet, I still can’t bring myself to get rid of it. I mean, no one is making me…it doesn't take up that much space – but it’s broken into little pieces…probably to the point where it can't be fixed.

So why can’t I just let it go? I suppose it’s the memory of my Grandma Winegarden that I've attached to the doll house. She has been gone 13 years now and I miss her terribly. 

Through the years I've been able to part with a lot 

of her things – 

dishes, decorative items – but there are a handful of things that I just can’t seem to let go. Things like the white and blue plastic canvas church she made for me, the set of bells (she gave me one every Christmas) and the doll house.  Why do we attach such strong emotions/memories to physical things? I don’t think I’m alone in doing this (or maybe I am?) Do you have items that have memories so interwoven in them that you find it hard to let them go?

I brought the doll house out of storage today to take a look at it. It's in pretty bad shape. Maybe it really is time to let it go...but it sure did make me smile to see the house "played" with one more time...(even if the boys were pretending a tornado hit the house and they had to fix it!) And ya know what - I think it would have made my Grandma smile too!

4 Month Comparison

I thought it would be fun to compare baby pictures of when all the boys were 4 months old...

Luke at 4 months

 Will at 4 months

 And Owen at 4 months

Do you think any of them look alike?

Finally an update!

Ok, so I've attempted many times to update the blog...but it seems I can never get more than a few sentences typed out before one of the kiddos needs me for something.  I'm pretty sure it would be impossible to give a full update on the last four months...but I will attempt a brief one!=)

Luke is almost 6. 'sniff sniff' It's hard to believe that 6 years ago we were eagerly awaiting his arrival and all of a sudden he's turning 6. He hit a growth spurt a few months ago and it's hard to realize that I can barely even lift him up anymore! He is finishing up Kindergarten - and though there have been many challenges homeschooling, there have also been great rewards. This year I got to watch him learn how to read,  add and subtract, become more aware of the world around him, develop his drawing skills, and the list goes on.  He also took his first soccer class and really enjoyed it!  This year he's been into Star Wars, super heroes, video games, soldiers, drawing and he loves loves loves to play outside.  He is just so much fun and so very sweet!

Though most people don' t get to see it because he's a bit shy, Will is just so full of personality! He makes us laugh every day! And though he is at times very challenging, he's also very sweet and affectionate. He is finishing up his first year of preschool and is almost always eager to do school. He's learning how to write his letters and numbers and it's been neat to see how much he's learned over the last year.  We still have to work with him quite a bit with his speech...and he can still be hard to understand at times.  Thankfully Luke is an expert interpreter when we just can't figure it out.  Will is interested in anything Luke likes and I am so thankful that they play together so well. They have such a great brother relationship...I just hope it stays that way when they're teenagers!!=)  Will also took his first soccer class and had a great time! Will is very inquisitive and asks "why" about a million times a-day!  I'm so thankful for the internet because  most of the time I have to say, "I don't know the answer...let's look it up!"

Owen is four months old and still very good natured. He is such a joy! We have declared him "mobile" now since he rolls everywhere. I guess it's time to baby proof again! He loves his jumperoo and doing tummy time with his toys.  He "talks" to us with a variety of coos, grunts, giggles and most recently, raspberries. He just had his 4 month check-up and weighed in at almost 18 lbs and is 24 1/2 inches long. He's not so little anymore...which is bittersweet. Knowing he's our last baby makes it a little bit harder to see him "grow up" so quickly. He is such a cutie though - and we are still smitten by him!

Phew! I finally got a blog completed!! Now it's time to feed the baby and go to bed!=) Nighty-Night!

Owen's Birth

Owen is now a week old and I am feeling so blessed! He is pure joy and I could just burst with love for all my boys.

Last time I updated, I was nearing the 40 week mark with Owen. I went to my doctor's appointment on my due date, and there was no indication labor was around the corner. She decided to set an induction date and the first available time was a week away. It looked like I was going to have another 41 weeker! Four days following my due date I went in for an ultrasound just to make sure the baby was doing ok and to check fluid levels. Everything looked great and the tech reassured me that this baby wasn't going to be big like my last. Phew!

(40 weeks preggo!)

All through my pregnancy, I tried to mentally prepare myself to try for a non-medicated birth. I've had two epidurals with my previous -one great epidural and one not-so-great epidural. Recovery after my last epidural was brutal and I have always heard that generally recovery after a non-medicated birth was easier. I'm not at all against epidurals and even though I was planning a non-medicated birth, I was open to one if my labor went long or if I had to be induced.

So, with my induction date only days away, I was mentally saying good-bye to giving birth with no pain meds and began to prepare myself for the cervidil, pitocin and epidural.

The morning before my induction, I awoke to some contractions. Could this really be it? For a few hours in the wee early hours, the contractions were pretty strong...but not consistent. I tried to time them, only to find them very irregular. I got up and moved around, ate some oatmeal and sat on my exercise ball. We decided to call Steve and Judy and ask them to come just in case this was the start of something. However, after the phone call was made, I laid down on the couch to get some more rest and the contractions became even more irregular...almost non-existent! I figured this was false labor. However, I was holding on to hope that at the very least, the contractions had started the dilation process so when I went in the next day for my induction, it would make it easier and quicker.

After resting more in the morning, we all just kind of waited for something more to happen. Steve and Judy worked from the house, Chris did school and played with the boys and I planned out the week of lessons for their homeschooling. The contractions would come and go...very inconsistent...very irregular.

Since the afternoon was warm, Chris and I decided to walk around the development. I've always read that walking helps, so off we went. While we walked, the contractions moved closer together. However, I could still walk and talk through them, so I figured they weren't doing much. Ugh. This was going to be a long day and night and I would still have to be induced in the end!

I was trying to measure the contraction pain to the ones I had with Luke. I was admitted at 4 cm with him and those contractions were awful! I knew the hospital here would not admit me until I was 5cm or my water had broken (which it hadn't) so I wasn't even considering going in for contractions I knew weren't progressing me very far.

We had a supper of pancakes and afterwards I decided to lay down for awhile longer to rest. Finally the contractions started to get really painful and low and behold, were becoming consistent! I still wasn't convinced I was in active labor yet, but it did feel more intense than before. I figured it was time to go get checked, but was fully expecting to be sent back home. I knew I'd be back for the induction the next day, so no harm done getting checked!

Once we got in the car, Judy started timing my contractions and we realized they were coming every two minutes. I could no longer talk through them and had to breath the best I could. Maybe something really was happening...I wanted to be checked though...I didn't want to get my hopes up and then be told I was only at a 2 or 3cm.

We got to the hospital and the contractions persisted. I had to stop every two minutes and lean on something while Chris rubbed my back. I got to L&D and found out I was at a 5-6cm! Whooohoooo!!!!! This REALLY WAS happening!!! I was admitted around 8pm. Judy called my good friend Jenny who was going to be my doula and help coach me through labor and she left for the hospital right away. I figured I had hours to labor and the pain was getting really intense. They asked about pain management and I said I'd like to think about it. The nurse told me that they wouldn't give me an epidural after 8cm, so if I wanted one, tell them now. After a few really strong, really painful contractions, I decided maybe I didn't want to go with a non-medicated birth after all...the epidural sounded really good at this point. So I said I wanted one. However, no one seemed in a hurry to get me one...all my blood work sat on the table in front of me (I knew they had to run that before anesthesia came) and they were already setting up for delivery. Could I really be going this fast?!

The contractions were coming hard and fast. The best way for me to deal with them was to moan through them while Chris rubbed my back with one hand and I squeezed the life out of his other hand. I thought the pain would never end. I asked for ice chips as I was parched. I'd munch on those between contractions. Then I started to feel pressure. OH.MY.WORD!!! I knew this was it...the baby was coming fast...no time for an epidural...we're just going to have to do this! At this point I was in a timeless fog. I vaguely realized the doctor had finally arrived. He broke my water and it was go time. Pushing was insane. There are no words to describe it. A lot of people describe it as intense, but even that word pales in comparison to what it felt like. Though I only pushed for a few minutes, it felt like an eternity. I even remember yelling, "GET HIM OUT!!"

And then it was over. I have never been more relieved in my life!! They held Owen up and there he was - our baby!! He was a little purple, but still perfect in every way. He was delivered a mere 51 minutes after we were admitted. It was so quick I just couldn't believe it! We all commented afterwards that it was a good thing we decided to go to the hospital to get checked when we did...otherwise, we may have had an unexpected homebirth...or side of the highway birth!

After he was born, Chris and I finally decided on a name - Owen Michael. He weighed in at 7lbs 13oz and was 20 1/2 inches long. His apgar was 8/9. He was so alert! Although I know they can't see well at first, it just seemed like he was looking around at everyone and everything taking it all in.

With the painful labor behind me, I was ready to scoop up Owen and go home. I knew we couldn't go home that night, but I wanted to go home as soon as possible. I felt great!

-Happy in Daddy's arms-

-He's finally here!!-

-Proud Meme! Grandchildren are the best!-

-Proud Auntie Jenny excited to be Owen's first visitor! Even though she rushed to the hospital the second we called her, Owen came so quickly he arrived before she could get there.-

The following morning, Guka brought the boys to meet their new little brother. It was the sweetest thing to witness. We have been talking about a new little baby for months and finally he had arrived! As they looked at him they kept saying how cute he was and how much they love him.

They finally relented and let us go home early after 25 hours in the hospital. So, at around 11pm that evening, we were dressing Owen for his trip home. It was so good to be home!

Recovery has been amazing - by far the easiest recovery I've ever had. Owen has been great! He eats well, sleeps well and is such a mellow baby. We are all smitten by him!

Thankfully, Steve and Judy stayed with us for the rest of the week which allowed me to get a ton of rest. It was so nice having so much help! This week we have been so blessed to have meals brought to us by so many loving friends! It has been so helpful and it has allowed us to adjust in such a smooth way.

The boys are doing great with Owen. I wondered if there would be jealousy, but so far they are doing pretty good. I think they were so used to me being out of commission throughout the last 9 months, that they're just happy I'm up and moving around more...and I'm not as grumpy! =)

The nausea was gone instantly and about the only thing (short of the extra pounds) that has stuck around from my long list of pregnancy woes is some carpel tunnel in my wrists. I'm assuming that will go away in due time as well. I am amazed at how much more energy I have and I just feel good!

Though Owen has only been here a week, we can't imagine life without him. He is precious beyond words. I cannot even begin to express how blessed I feel. As I sat on the couch yesterday holding Owen, with Luke and Will sitting next to me, I was overcome with joy. I am so thankful to God for sending us these precious souls.

Here are some more pictures of our first week!

-Owen's first doctor's appointment-

-Family of 5!-

Life is good!

It's a New Year!

Wow...guess it's been awhile since I last updated the blog! Whoops.

I am two days away from my due date. As much as I would LOVE to go into labor this very second, I also know that chances are, I will go late again. I'm guessing if I go much past 40-41 weeks, an induction will be set. I really don't want to be induced, so pray this baby has better timing then Will did! =)

We still don't have a name for Baby Bee#3, but found out in October that we are having another little boy! A lot of people have wondered if I'm really sad that we're not having a girl. I'm actually ok. Of course I would LOVE to have a little girl, but I'm also perfectly satisfied with a little boy. In fact, after two boys, we're pretty comfortable with another boy...we know boys! I also get asked a lot if we'll try again for a girl. To which we generally answer..."even if we tried, we are fairly certain we'd have another boy (which would be fine too.)" However, we feel very much at peace with saying Baby Bee #3 will complete our family.

Pregnancy has progressed pretty much like my others. I've continued to be nauseous the entire time, but have been very thankful for the Zofran that keeps me sane. There are all the "fun" pregnancy symptoms to experience...sciatic nerve pain, round ligament pain, extreme fatigue, lots of extra weight and fluid retention, swollen hands to the point of dropping everything...and I mean everything.I.ever.try.to.pick.up.I.drop.on.the.floor. And through it all, I know every single part of pregnancy is worth the bundle of joy you get in the end. And I can't wait to meet this little guy!

The boys are very excited to meet their little brother. We have talked about a new little baby for so long though, I'm afraid they don't really believe me when I say he'll be here soon! I can't wait to see the first time they all meet each other though...I know Luke and Will are going to be phenomenal big brothers!

In other news, we are back to homeschooling after a nice winter break. I'm excited to see what this half of the year brings with schooling. We'll have a lot of hands on learning fun once spring comes...including learning about plants and planting a garden!

Will is turning 4 in two weeks. This is so hard for me to wrap my mind around! He has been our "baby" now for almost 4 years! Though we probably won't have a party this year (since it'll be so close to Baby Bee # 3's appearance) we know for sure that there will be a Star Wars cake made by Guka and a special meal or a visit to his favorite restaurant...and of course a few presents!

Luke is going through quite a growth spurt right now. He is eating like a teenager of late (just an example would be the 4 corn bread muffins he ate at supper last night!!!) and getting so tall! He is soaking up school (for the most part...we have our challenging days) and is really making progress. I love watching him learn!

Will also loves school! He keeps asking for more work even when he's completed his projects for the day. We still struggle a little with his picky eating...but I know he'll eventually come around. Someday he'll realized that food is good!

We had a wonderful Christmas and look forward to what this New Year brings. Hey, maybe I'll even blog more!!! (I know I've said this for the past 3 Januarys...so don't hold your breath!!)

39 weeks with Baby Bee #3

Love these boys!